I know the wee folks over at eHow are trying to be helpful, but I take a few issues with their 4 steps for preventing lawn gnome theft.
Step 1 : Fat gnomes just can’t work as hard as more fit gnomes. We all have bellies as we enjoy the fruits of our labour and a wee tipple now and then, but how would we be expected to work with our pants literally filled with lead?
Step 2 : Probably the most sensible option, though electric fencing can often harm animals and is a bit impractical in an urban setting. I’d opt for the nettles or other prickly plants.
Step 3 : Lets see some humanfolk wrap themselves with electric fencing and see if they like it. Get a gnome with a tool. We are typically peaceful, but a crack across the shin with a pick axe says, “Hands Off!”
Step 4 : The dog is fine, but hanging a plastic steak around my neck? Think again.