Category: hanky panky

Naked Gnomes

A West Midlands grandmother has been told to cover up three of her garden gnomes – because they’re naked. The cheeky statues, one of a man and two of busty women, stood outside Sandra Smith’s door for 15 years. But now Smith, 64, has had to drape little T-shirts over the ornaments after a neighbour… Continue reading Naked Gnomes

Ladies gnome

I noticed at the Oxegen festival that the two most likely groups to want to talk with me were nice ladies and drunk men. The ladies were all very sweet, especially this lovely dear who gave me a wee peck on the cheek. The green hair reminded me of a troll doll princess (which is… Continue reading Ladies gnome

What a pisser

Sorry I haven’t had much to post in the past few weeks. Access to the web has been a bit spotty. Perhaps the bees got a bit restless in the attic following a warm, dry spell. I used to be a big fan of Lars von Trier, until Magnus, a Danish gnome sent me a… Continue reading What a pisser

SPANK!

This is what happens when Gnomes are bad in their own society. Imagine the pure pain your little friend must be feeling from someone outside the Gnome world. I wear iron gloves. I spanked him so hard last night that he dropped his marker. He won’t be able to sit for a week. Hee Hee… Continue reading SPANK!