I just love my gnome sized iPod. I don’t know what I would do without it! Everybody sing! I want to tell you a storyAbout a little manIf I can.A gnome named Grimble Grumble.And little gnomes stay in their homes.Eating, sleeping, drinking their wine.He wore a scarlet tunic,A blue green hood,It looked quite good.He had… Continue reading iGnome
Category: photoshop
Strawberry-tastrophe
Seems your little friend has a penchant for the shiny red fruits. We took him to the orchard yesterday, hoping that the fresh air would cure him of the cough he picked up in that questionable restroom facility. However, he would not stop eating the strawberries. After a while, we found him passed out in… Continue reading Strawberry-tastrophe
A cry for help…
Somewhere in a dark, dreary restroom at the ragged outer edge of civilization (perhaps New Jersey), a troubled soul cries out for help during a long night of debauchery. Who can fathom the inner torments this poor gnome is enduring…?
Slippery Lil Fella…
Well, after that little plane snatching incident, we tracked him to his landing site and sent out our best troops. Unfortunately, our BS-4965 night vision camera caught an image of him, but our elite forces have not. However, he will not stay outside of our grip for long. Muhahahaa…oh never mind……
Gnome Hijacking!
Early yesterday evening, an unidentified garden gnome was spotted hijacking a Blue Angels jet over San Francisco. The jet then disappeared into the clouds, and authorities are still trying to locate it. If you have any information leading to the arrest of said garden gnome, please contact authorities immediately!
Stop Oppressive Gardening. Free the Gnomes.
Have you seen a Gnome in captivity? It has come to our attention that a Gnome is being held captive. We do not, as a rule, negotiate with terrorists, however, we request that he be released immediately. Do the responsible thing; free your Gnome today. How? Where? Do you long to ease the suffering of… Continue reading Stop Oppressive Gardening. Free the Gnomes.
He’s Quite the Lady’s Man…
I don’t know what these women find so irresistible about these garden gnomes. Your little friend definitely has a way with the ladies. It must be his blue eyes, big dimples and big floppy hat. You can see we are using whatever means necessary to distract him from finding his way home…and we are succeeding.… Continue reading He’s Quite the Lady’s Man…
The Plank!
Well my little friend, since you liked the Bushkill so much, rrrrrrr. We thought we’d try……. say something bigger,rrrrrrr…… The deep blue sea…where you will be able to explore Davey Jones’ Locker. Muhahahahah……..rrrrrrrrr Whats that you say……. you want to challenge me to a dual with your Crayola Marker. HaHaHaHaHaHaHa……… You are a silly little… Continue reading The Plank!
swimming with the fishes
Your little Gnome friend has quite a mouth on him. He simply refuses to obey orders and won’t shut up. All day long he cries, “Justin, Justin, where is my master”. My slap torture machine is no match for his cute little cheeks. Today we threw him into the Bushkill in order to shut his… Continue reading swimming with the fishes
Take Us Seriously…
Apparently you take this little kidnapping as a joke. Do not let our pleasant “hooglie-booglie” nature distract you from knowing we mean business. Perhaps this image will make you painfully aware of our interrogation methods if our demands are not met. What are our demands? They will be revealed in time……