Gnome respect at all

It’s a sad state of affairs when lovely human folk like Colleen Cheak are terrorized by bandits. I assume one of the watch gnomes must have scared off the robbers before they could make away with more ornaments, but I do hope everyone makes it back safely.

What can we do to protect ourselves?

Murphy’s Law Overturned

Murphy’s Law isn’t the same anymore after Murphy from Gloucester got to take a wee trip around the world for seven months. I’d rather travel with my host family than some stranger, but for those lucky gnomes that get a professional vs. a trouble-maker, the spoils can be rich.

I prefer the BBC coverage, but they didn’t allow me to embed the video.

Kidnapping still a garden gnome reality

No, that isn’t Gnomedini, the great gnome illusionist, but a representation of what a kidnapped gnome might experience at the hands of his captors. The sad truth is that gnomes continue to be abducted from perfectly good gardens, like that of Margaret Robertson.

There are instances when garden gnomes are kept against their will, but in most instances we are loyal to our owners and love the garden work.

swimming with the fishes

Your little Gnome friend has quite a mouth on him. He simply refuses to obey orders and won’t shut up. All day long he cries, “Justin, Justin, where is my master”. My slap torture machine is no match for his cute little cheeks. Today we threw him into the Bushkill in order to shut his filthy pie hole.

Have no fear my friend with red hair, my divers are currently retrieving him. This is just a warning. He now knows who his master really is.

Muhuhuhuhuhhahahahahahah, breathe, Muhuhuhuhuhhahahahahahah, breathe, Muhuhuhuhuhhahahahahahah

Take Us Seriously…

Apparently you take this little kidnapping as a joke. Do not let our pleasant “hooglie-booglie” nature distract you from knowing we mean business. Perhaps this image will make you painfully aware of our interrogation methods if our demands are not met.

What are our demands? They will be revealed in time……