Beag Óg Bramblefoot

Sarah has some great wee cards over in her Etsy shop. I noticed she is from Kansas City and wonder if she works as an illustrator at Hallmark?

I believe there is some untapped potential around a line of gnome holiday cards, particularly birthday tree cards.

(A few humanfolk have asked if I get any type of referral fees for the products I mention, and the truth is no. These are just things I come across while surfing the wee web.)

There are strong opinions about keeping garden gnomes. Some articles have even gone so far as to tie dropping property values with the presence of a gnome. Perhaps those critics will turn their attention to the effects of acquiring a lawn zombie. Now, unless you are trying to impress other George Romero fanatics, or trying to scare the wee ones around Halloween, this might not be for you. It certainly would have frightened the pantaloons off of me had I come across it in the bushes.

I know the wee folks over at eHow are trying to be helpful, but I take a few issues with their 4 steps for preventing lawn gnome theft.

Step 1 : Fat gnomes just can’t work as hard as more fit gnomes. We all have bellies as we enjoy the fruits of our labour and a wee tipple now and then, but how would we be expected to work with our pants literally filled with lead?

Step 2 : Probably the most sensible option, though electric fencing can often harm animals and is a bit impractical in an urban setting. I’d opt for the nettles or other prickly plants.

Step 3 : Lets see some humanfolk wrap themselves with electric fencing and see if they like it. Get a gnome with a tool. We are typically peaceful, but a crack across the shin with a pick axe says, “Hands Off!”

Step 4 : The dog is fine, but hanging a plastic steak around my neck? Think again.

I don’t know many gnomes with the name Henry, but I’m certain if you renamed this guy he wouldn’t mind. The wee folks over at Wishing Fish offer a toy gnome that records what you say or sing and plays it back in an annoying and completely false representation of a “funny gnome voice.” Perhaps you’ll find him amusing.

(Perhaps he was named Henry in homage to our beloved friend Henry Omand from the last post?)

Henry was one of those rare human folk who shared a great affinity for our work as we did for his care and creative flair. He must have a bit of gnome blood in him. What’s nice is that even though the Moray Council may not be able to benefit from him in the future, he’ll have our help with his wee garden in Findhorn. It’s the right thing to return all those favours.

Apparently Mateusz Skutnik is going to release a 10 Gnomes game episode each month for the rest of the year. I am fearful for how much the garden might suffer if I continue to lose hours playing these wee games. And to make matters worse, he has other addictive wonders on Pastel Stories.