Have you seen a Gnome in captivity?
It has come to our attention that a Gnome is being held captive. We do not, as a rule, negotiate with terrorists, however, we request that he be released immediately. Do the responsible thing; free your Gnome today. How? Where? Do you long to ease the suffering of Gnomes you have unwittingly enslaved?
We do NOT encourage Gnome Liberation “by any means necessary”.
When a Gnome is liberated by force, the Gnome experiences yet another traumatic event in their lives. The world seems even more frightening and unstable for a Gnome who is “stolen”. Forcefully liberated Gnomes are prone to experiencing recurring nightmares of their relocation, and live with the fear that they will be “snatched” again. We cannot stress enough the importance of a calm, soothing, reassuring transition from slavery to freedom for Gnomes.
Do you feel that, now that you understand that Gnomes are actually sentient, intelligent beings, you truely owe these gentle Gnomes a better life and a brighter future? Your next step is just to release the newly freed Gnome to a predator free, supportive environment like The Hidden Urban Gnome Reserve & Sanctuary.
The Hidden Urban Gnome Reserve & Sanctuary closely simulates a Gnomes natural environment, without arousing the suspicion of unknowing passers-by in the Urban environment. Despite the high security designed to keep potential predators out, Gnomes are able to freely come and go from the Sanctuary by use of numerous Gnome doors and secret Portals, which can only be opened by members of Gnomekind. In addition to the Human-watching, beautiful scenery and relaxing lake atmosphere, Gnomes frequently visit the lake to speak with Mr. Little Guy, a famous elf who resides in a tree next to the lake.
Gnomes often learn about the Reserve through word of mouth, coded letters passed along through the Gnome Underground, and surreptitious surfing of the Internet. When they reach the Reserve, many choose to stay.
We are asking you to put an end to your involvement. Do the responsible thing; free your Gnome today.
Seems your little friend has a penchant for the shiny red fruits. We took him to the orchard yesterday, hoping that the fresh air would cure him of the cough he picked up in that questionable restroom facility. However, he would not stop eating the strawberries. After a while, we found him passed out in a basket of them, belching and waving his little red marker around in spastic gestures of intestinal discomfort.
